Saturday 25 April 2015
Friday 10 April 2015
The International Boater's Sign Language Guide
The following consists of a few helpful hints for those rather difficult
boating situations where oral language is useless.
The Tea Break
Great for using to announce the kettle has boiled. Be wary of using it mid-argument or one may assume you're calling for time-out which could make the person intended for the message more frustrated.
The Panic
Perfect for those dire moments such as 'don't do it', 'no!' 'stop!' Hire boaters have been known to confuse this with 'get out of the way' and often end up stranded in bushes etc.
The Legless
The 'I'm walking to the next bridge/lock/etc'. Don't use this upright or people may assume you have a fetish for finger puppetry and laugh at you.
The Jaw-Jaw
Available for men or women to use, this one is normally directed to someone else with an accompanied roll of the eyes to suggest someone who talks too much. There are some fancy variations, but be careful not to be caught.
The Earache
A point of the ear suggests 'I can't hear you'. Be warned not to point at your temple instead, or the person may assume you're calling them a nutcase.
The Naughty Dog
Usually used when bored or trying to make kids laugh in the dark, this one can be varied by pointing the 'ears' down to suggest a dog having a poo on the towpath.
The Squeeze
Useful for directing the skipper on how close they are to objects. ALWAYS over- exaggerate. It makes for an interesting game. Their face normally resorts to a frown of utter confusion and an 'are you sure?' expression.
The Double Scout's Honour
Works as a greeting for those who follow a particular sci-fi series. Always handy for greeting hire boaters (no-one knows who they are anyway) and the Queen if you happen to see her.
The Tea Break
Great for using to announce the kettle has boiled. Be wary of using it mid-argument or one may assume you're calling for time-out which could make the person intended for the message more frustrated.
The Panic
Perfect for those dire moments such as 'don't do it', 'no!' 'stop!' Hire boaters have been known to confuse this with 'get out of the way' and often end up stranded in bushes etc.
The Legless
The 'I'm walking to the next bridge/lock/etc'. Don't use this upright or people may assume you have a fetish for finger puppetry and laugh at you.
The Jaw-Jaw
Available for men or women to use, this one is normally directed to someone else with an accompanied roll of the eyes to suggest someone who talks too much. There are some fancy variations, but be careful not to be caught.
The Earache
A point of the ear suggests 'I can't hear you'. Be warned not to point at your temple instead, or the person may assume you're calling them a nutcase.
The Naughty Dog
Usually used when bored or trying to make kids laugh in the dark, this one can be varied by pointing the 'ears' down to suggest a dog having a poo on the towpath.
The Squeeze
Useful for directing the skipper on how close they are to objects. ALWAYS over- exaggerate. It makes for an interesting game. Their face normally resorts to a frown of utter confusion and an 'are you sure?' expression.
The Double Scout's Honour
Works as a greeting for those who follow a particular sci-fi series. Always handy for greeting hire boaters (no-one knows who they are anyway) and the Queen if you happen to see her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)